[29 Dec 2009|12:55am] lawnornaments I'm awake. I know you're awake too. I wonder if our thoughts will cross tonight. Like in a crowded place when there's a sudden noise and everyone looks and for a split second we've all shared thoughts. I've thought yours and you've thought mine and the line between whose thoughts they are becomes unimportant. Sharing those little thoughts is a little like sharing the same body. And a little of that is like sharing the same consciousness and a little of that is the same soul. There should be a name for that. My darling I love you so terribly dearly. Have you thought that tonight and then told yourself to hush? Maybe if I lie still enough quietly enough listen hard enough, I'll feel some sense of overlap. 1 comment

[25 Dec 2009|06:05pm] lawnornaments 17 comment

[20 Dec 2009|11:13pm] lawnornaments Ask me any questions and I'll answer them in the next post! Comments are enabled to be anonymous and screened. And please tell me what your favorite livejournals to follow are! comment

[16 Dec 2009|12:28pm] lawnornaments This feels like something I should be whispering. There's a freedom I'm missing out on. I can feel it like a phantom limb. It should be there. Sometimes I feel just enough of it to remember it and that I lost it somewhere. I have no idea how to go about getting it back though. It's out there with the sunlight. Where can I go to get some sunlight around here? The other day someone said "white picket fence" and there was a pang of longing in my heart. What is this nonsense. I HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR FEELINGS OF LONGING OVER SUCH THINGS. This is why animals hibernate in the winter. To keep from going crazy. 11 comment

marty at the seaside [16 Dec 2009|06:24am] ynaffit_sun [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | band of skulls- i know what i am ] it's amazing how random people you meet can have such a profound effect on your life, even though you've only talked with them for a short amount of time. today, melissa and i went to seaside bakery at 3:20am to get some ham & cheese crossiants, and i started talking to a regular, a man named marty. he's worked with the record industry, and now shoots film & photography for all sorts of famous people. somehow, we ended up talking to him for an hour and a half. he told us the story of how he met bob dylan, which was through his girlfriend at the time. he dated a girl named kimmie when he was 21, and coincidentally, kimmie happened to be roommates with joan baez, and that's how he met bob dylan. we continued to talk about music, about the swing era, count basie's band, rock & roll, benny goodman, and the reason & how the swing era started at the time. it was so amazing talking to him. after he left, we talked to the man behind the counter. he was the same man two days before, when we came in to buy our ham & cheese crossiants. now that i think about it, we saw marty last time we went in, except we were leaving and he was coming in. the bakery man told us that marty has been coming to the store everyday at the same time for 5 years. and that he would always stay and talk to him for about an hour, and tell him his stories. then he'd leave the way he came, on his bicycle. and it just so happened that today marty decided to give the man who had been listening to his stories for 5 years a 100$ bill, as a thank you for listening. the man behind the counter, who had been serving him for 5 years also told us that he's probably really lonely and just wants someone to talk to since he isn't married. i ask if marty has a girlfriend, and the man said, marty says he does, but they don't have anything in common. i felt so terribly sad. marty who is 67 years old, who tells his stories to the bakery man, doesn't have someone to grow old with. he has lived such a colorful life, and hearing his stories certainly woke me up, i was pretty damn tired at 3am. he was so expressive and wonderful in telling us about himself and his stories, and his opinion about music. while he was telling me his stories, i just felt very appreciative of his being. and then i felt sad again- what if someday soon he passes away? sure he probably has family, collegues, and friends, but really - i felt so afraid that only the bakery man would know that he died and understood who he is at a personal level. i felt so afraid and sad that there wouldn't be anyone left to appreciate who he was. i left him a note, linking him to postsecret.com , a thank you for the talk, and my e-mail address, hoping that he'll get in contact with me. but from what i hear from the bakery man, he hates technology, and doubts that he even has a computer. haha... who knows. hopefully i'll see him again before i leave for santa cruz. what's interesting about marty is that he said that every job that he's ever had was an accident. it seemed like every major event in his life just happened to be accidental. it makes my mind trip out when i think about how the choices we make just somehow fall together and works out in the end. for example, if tonight we decided to go somewhere else to grab a bite, we wouldn't have had a talk with marty, if we arrived later he wouldn't be there, etc. it's just so weird and crazy to me how everything just happens for a reason. when i close my eyes i want to remember marty & the bakery man because i feel like they are some sort of catalyst in my life. a catalyst for what? i'm not sure, but i know it's important, and i want to remember it. comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ]